I hate the word. I’d rather not say it. When I hear it fall out of my mouth it feels as though someone else is talking. Seven years and it’s still hard for me to say it out loud. To type those letters. DIVORCE. Such an ugly word. It carries such a heavy weight. Particularly, in Christian circles. I can almost hear the judgments pass through a person mind as quickly as the word rolls off my tongue.
“What must she have done? I wonder how she failed? Maybe she doesn’t really know Jesus. Can I trust her? Should she really be helping at church? Broken. Flawed. Failure.”
Being divorced. Being a divorced Christian who’s love for Jesus is quietly questioned. It stings. My pain and rejection on display for the community nearest and dearest to me to pick apart. It’s often a word I have to utter at first introductions. It just comes up, though I try to avoid. A word that carries so much, and that’s the first a person will know of me. Before they know me, my story, my heart. With divorce comes the assumption that certain things must be true about me. And those things, they are lies I’ve believed about me too.
So if you’re going through a divorce,
If you’ve been the victim of adultery, addiction, abuse, abandonment,
I’m here to tell you the truth:
You are not broken
You are not done
You are not your spouse’s choices
You are not beyond repair
You are not weak
You are not a slave to shame
You are not a prisoner of fear
You do not need forgiveness for someone else’s choices
You are not the story someone else tells about you
Your life is not over
You are strong
You are still you
You are whole
You are loved
You are not alone
You are going to be okay
You are free
You are the story God is writing for you
And there is life waiting for you,
Good life.
