Don’t Forget About Us; On Dating and Marrying the Divorced, Widowed, or Single Parent

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Don’t forget about us. We are here and we are in need. And most of all we are worth it. We’ve been left alone. Abused. Abandoned. Widowed. Orphaned. We may be broken. We may be used, but we have so much left to give.

I know there are a few. A few good ones. Willing to take the risk. Willing to take the leap. Thankful does not even begin to describe my feelings for these hero’s. Love heals. Like nothing else. Is it really any wonder that it’s what we go looking for as soon as the hurt sets in?

Be careful. They say. She has kids. They say. He’s so broken. They say. It’s too much. Why would you sign your self up for that? Are you looking for hard? Always attracted to broken? Attracted to needy? Maybe there’s a reason why. Maybe some one really does need you. Maybe, when you find the right one. The right, healthy way to be needed there is a joy and satisfaction that can’t be explained. Divine even.

Because redemption is in our blood. It runs through our veins and into our hearts and we crave to live it out. We add our sin and it gets messy so we step away. We warn. Stay away from the mess, you might get dirty. Or are we supposed to dive in? We draw our lines to keep ourselves clean, healthy, pure, but when we build the wall too high we ostracize. We judge. We injure. We pile pain on top of pain. We’ve created rules to keep ourselves safe but when we stop seeing people as people and start seeing them as lines not to be crossed, love looses. We all loose.

Redemption dives into the mess. Redemption recognizes our own mess, and the grace it’s taken to clean it up. Redemption says, “I’ll go too. I’ll feel your pain. I’ll carry your burden.” It’s backwards and upside down, but still we are drawn. Because when Jesus pulls a heart, the force is strong. When he says “Go. Dive.” Our bones cannot say no. We can’t shake that voice from our ears.

Self preservation shouts loud. Other voices, the ones who love us. Don’t want to see us suffer too. So who then? What are we supposed to do? The ones, left alone? Abandoned? Widowed? Orphaned? Who will love us if not you? I won’t lie. We aren’t easy to love. Our hearts are scarred and our road is bumpy and although love heals, healing takes time. So much time. And love must be tough and gentle all at the same time. It’s a high calling. The world has tossed us to and fro and the ripples of that wave don’t stop quick. They’ll catch you too.

The other lie, the one that says it’s not worth it. It isn’t true either. Our broken has taught us to love deep. To hold tight. We know the frailty of life and love. We know the value of holding your heart in our hands. It’s a gift we treasure and cherish more than the rest. And when the sweet, earthly redemption of your love is poured out over us there are no words. None. Only speechless tears, running down our cheeks. Thankfulness and love, that cannot be spoken. It’s wide, it’s deep, it’s overwhelming. We’ll never be able to pay it back in full. But we will keep trying. Until our last breath. To the few, the willing to dive. Thank you for showing us a bit of heaven right here on earth. A bit of God’s love, reaching into our dark places through you. Redemption. Give us a chance. Please. Don’t forget about us.

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